So on starting this its 00:54am.
I can’t sleep basically.
•The room is too hot.
•The pillow is lumpy and uncomfortable.
• I can’t get comfy
And worst of all I can’t stop thinking, everything in my life is going pretty well, good friends around me, I’m at uni, i’m not completely poor (if you look past my student loan).
I’m a shoulder to cry on, I listen and some how often or not say the right thing to cheer someone up when they are sad. I dont grudge being a good friend. People help people, Its a way of life.
But god damn it I need a shoulder too! And somehow in my brain I find it hard to just throw up my hands and say ‘I can’t take anyones shit anymore because my mind is eating me alive!!’ So I hermit myself in my head, I hardly talk to people and slowly revert to my oldways of never seeing sunlight or people ever again.
So I can’t sleep from it, basically.
On finishing it’s now 01:11am
Maybe I’ll try laying on my side, it might help…